blah.

So the books that I'm reading...I totally meant to put those in the last entry but they are:

"Eat, Pray, Love" by: Elizabeth Gilbert
and
"The Rhythm of Life: Living Everyday with Passion and Purpose" by: Matthey Kelly

"Eat, Pray, Love" is a memoir and "Rhythm" is like a self help kind of book. I have read many of these in my lifetime..and they seem to make ground breaking realizations happen with me. I like people who understand people, therefore I like reading the things these people have to say. I'm very interested in how people live their lives and how they find ways to be happy. It's kind of hard when you put all of your energy into something you "do", rather directly into yourself as a whole, to master yourself.

Annnyywaaayyy, I feel pretty blah today....thus the unoriginal title. I am starting to come to the conclusion that I have PMDD (a longer lasting version of PMS) that effects my life tremendeously. Luckily, I don't have to go anywhere today until later...I'm hoping that next month this stuff doesn't effect the opera....I'm just so fatigued.

I have been in a horrible mood lately, and during this time I try really hard not to let what I think I see affect me. I jump to wild conclusions that someone is being mean to me before I really take time to consider that I am in a tender mood and that almost anything would offend me right now. I don't think my boyfriend has figured out how to get around this stuff yet...and coming from a four year relationship where someone knew every trick...it's really annoying. But I have to be patient I guess. The best thing I can think of right now is to just stay away....he is sick anyway. I never realized starting a new relationship would be so painful and challenging but I am starting to accept these truths and trying with all of my might not to compare the two....but it is hard. Sometimes I give up for the day...and sometimes I handle it. I'm past the anger stage where ANYTHING is better than the past....and I am seeing things for what they are and were and it's almost as hard as the breakup itself.

I'm praying hard for strength right now as I also hurl myself full speed ahead into opera season. I am supposed to be off book completely in about 2 weeks and then do 2 weeks of stageing and then tech week. It's insanity...As James (the director) said, "It's going to be instant opera-just add water."


Word of the day: patience

OK, I'm going to go try to get some headshot printed for some stuff I'm applying to...Did I mention I may be going to Italy this summer for a 2 week program with Sharon? Kinda cool.

These first few entries may be long as I have much to catch up on.

Bye for now.