This isn't right!!!!

The whole world is supposed to make sense right now.....

I just got an amazing review from the post....my career feels like it is actually going somewhere....

I thought I had met a really great guy with all of the bells and whistles of everything I ever wanted....but I must have been WAYYYYY OFFFFF.....turns out he is possibly a bigger mess than me.....and that is hard to do.

I have a few friends right now that I love and adore....but somehow I am finding myself depressed....

Damn with the ups and downs I have had lately!!!....I would probably say I should be medicated....but none of this is directly because of me. Or is it?

Maybe I should stop trusting people so quickly....maybe I should always have my gaurd up and play super-hard-to-get....maybe I should just be selfish and just take and take and take.....

there doesnt seen to be happiness at the end of the rope for me right now....



I have been heard to say that the life of an artist truely is "a lonely one, full of selfishness" Was I really selfish when I told Emily's story on stage? NO...I asked her character to come to me and take over every movement and sound. I left myself.....

I have always wanted to be someone else.....and I love being someone else. No matter who that person is....I have always gel'ed to whoever I am around because I know that me as me is not good enough or is too intense for a lot of people. I'm tired of it.


Will I ever be happy with me?